


I'll Stand By You

by gelandspray



Series: Lay It All Down [20]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Trans, Body Shaming, FTM, M/M, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3458063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gelandspray/pseuds/gelandspray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt hears the whispers in NYADA's hallway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Stand By You

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Body Image  
> For [Klaine Bingo](http://www.klainebingo.tumblr.com)
> 
> **Reminder: I've basically thrown canon timeline to the wind. I'm respecting some things but I'm rearranging others. Stay with me, please.**

_“Did you see?”_ he hears whispered behind him.

_“Who **can’t**_ _see? It’s so obvious!”_

Kurt stiffens. He’s just finished a class where he thinks that he’d done pretty well, really well, if he wasn’t being cautious – you never _really_ know with NYADA professors until you get the grade back. But, he felt good, so he walked out of the classroom with his head held high, his confidence brimming, and with thoughts of texting his boyfriend for some celebratory sex. The hallways were bustling around him with students rushing to get to class, students too stressed out to go any slower than a firm speed walk, and students hanging their heads in disappointment from their latest round of NYADA-brand humbling. He felt the eyes of his peers on him and he _thought_ they were all looking at him with jealousy.

But now he thinks maybe he was wrong.

_“I can’t believe it! I’m shocked NYADA is just letting him walk around like that!”_

_“I know! He **has** to know he can never make it big when he looks like that!”_

_“Some people just don’t know what professionalism is in this business.”_

Kurt anxiously pulls his sweatshirt away from where it sticks to his binder a little. He panics. He doesn’t know how this has happened. He’s always careful! He knows how to dress to distract away from certain areas and pull attention towards others in his everyday attire and in his more athletic classes, he wears his thinner, lighter weight, half-binder tightened as far as it can go under a loose sweatshirt to try to get the top layer to stick as little as possible and then wears a sports boxer with an insert for his packer. He’s thought of everything! He doesn’t know what they noticed and why they noticed it now.

But he can’t run away right now. He can’t leave it like this. He can’t let them whisper behind his back like this. He always knew that this would happen someday. He wasn’t out in high school, but he has to be out sometime. If he believes he’s going to make it on Broadway and be well known, he has to get used to people knowing personal things about him. He didn’t think it would be so soon or like this, but he has to take what was dealt. He tries to think about what Unique would say, what Unique would do.

_“He doesn’t belong with us.”_

“Excuse me,” he demands, whipping around, pulling what he knows is his classic bitch face.

He relishes the stunned look on their faces. He eyes up the pair, scanning over their wide eyes, gaping mouths, and down to their subpar fashion. One appears to be a girl and the other a guy – though he’s learned through personal experience that external gender clues aren’t nearly as reliable as some people like to believe. His eyes flit between the two to try to size them up and see just what type of barbs might be thrown at him beyond what he’s already heard. They both look pretty slyly tenacious. The kind of people who give backhanded compliments and range from thinly veiled stabs to full-on, though carefully worded, insults. Goody.

“What are you talking about?” Kurt asks, faux-innocently. “I want in on the gossip, too.”

“Nothing important,” the girl retorts equally faux-sweet.

“No?” Kurt questions. “It sounded pretty juicy.”

“Just talking about a guy in our Improv Dance class,” the guy replies coolly.

“Improv Dance?”

The girl seems unfazed by Kurt’s apparent confusion and dives right into explaining, apparently pushing past her initial hesitance, love of gossip overriding. “Yeah, I met him at the mixer held after we got our acceptance letters and he has gained _at least_ 15 pounds since then. It’s a pity; you can really see where priorities lie.”

So, they weren’t talking about him then. Kurt feels relief flood him. His chest is released from an iron grip. He stops searching his brain for reasons why they know. He-

“Yeah, he really seemed like he had potential,” the boy continues. “Another one bites the dust, I guess. Rest in obscurity, Blaine Anderson.”

_Wait, what?_

“Hold on!” Kurt exclaims. “ _Blaine?_ You’ve got to be kidding! Are we talking about the same Blaine here? The same Blaine Anderson? The beautiful, talented, charming _Blaine Anderson_?”

“Yeah,” the guy insists, “he-“

“Holy shit! I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” Kurt interrupts. He doesn’t even need to hear whatever explanation they have “One, I don’t know what weight you seem to find so hideous on him – not that it matters – and, two, he is tremendously _multi_ talented! Also, he’s clearly not only a better performer, but also a better person than you could _ever_ be, because this is some petty _bullshit_. I pity the people who have to listen to your vitriol while I get to have someone as amazing as _Blaine Anderson_ as my boyfriend. I just-“

“Kurt.”

Kurt jerks his head to the side when his name is called by the man in question himself and it is Kurt’s turn to have a shocked look. Kurt really likes the look less on himself than he did on the other two. This is the most ridiculous situation, for Blaine to hear what these idiots think about him, for these idiots to even think these things in the first place.

“Blaine-“ Kurt sighs breathlessly.

“It’s fine,” Blaine dismisses.

That sure fires Kurt up again – and quickly.

“It’s not fine! They’re being assholes!” Kurt protests.

Blaine simply shrugs.

“No! You know what?” Kurt shouts, whipping around to look sharply at the two ignorant body-shamers. “I could pick at you two like you picked at Blaine, but I’m going to be the bigger person. I’ll just say that maybe you could afford to spend more time working on your _talent_ and _personalities_ and less time judging people’s bodies. Let’s go, Blaine.”

He reaches out for Blaine’s hand and grips it hard and he tugs Blaine down the hallway, out the door, and away from the toxic environment of self-absorbed, shallow people. He can feel Blaine trudging along behind him and feels their sweaty hands together, but he can’t let go and he can’t stop walking. He doesn’t care that all of NYADA can see him holding his boyfriend’s hand or that all of NYADA probably heard him _say_ the Blaine’s his boyfriend and that this means that the cat’s officially out of the bag. He can’t entertain the darker thoughts of the consequences of NYADA gossip and scrutiny of their relationship. The reasons why he hadn’t wanted NYADA to be aware of his relationship status are shoved father and deeper into a back corner of his brain as he, thankfully, flags down a cab fairly easily. He just needs to get Blaine home and _hold him_ and he doesn’t want to wait around to do it and come down from his surge of adrenaline.

In the cab, he holds Blaine’s hand tighter, if that’s even possible. He lifts Blaine’s hand to his lips and looks into Blaine’s eyes as he kisses the back of Blaine’s hand. His honest and expressive eyes are _so_ _sad_ and it hurts Kurt as badly as it hurt Kurt to think those two were talking about him. It hurts to think that people could be so cruel to the man beside him and not even care what their words were doing to him, not even care that his eyes would be wide, not with happiness or excitement, but to hold back tears. It makes Kurt want to cry, but he can’t cry when Blaine is trying so hard not to.

The taxi can’t take them back to Kurt’s fast enough.

Maybe it Blaine was because masculine in all the ways Kurt had always wished to be that he never saw how insecure Blaine could be. Blaine has an unblemished flat chest, a deep, sensual voice, beautifully toned arms, a sculpted back, a natural bubble butt the envy of any person, and an absolutely _beautiful_ cock. Plus, honestly, he _likes_ Blaine’s little bit of flab; it’s such a variation from the petite and fit rest of Blaine but, at the same time, it fits in with his compact frame and tiny waist. Kurt finds the chub reassuring in a way. He likes to feel it when he cuddles Blaine, hold it in his hand while Blaine’s heart pounds in his ear. 

They haven’t been having sex for all that long, but, from the first blowjob until now, it’s been long enough to develop some habits and likes. He likes to nuzzle Blaine’s stomach when he goes down on him. When he gives Blaine a blowjob, he likes to linger on the little extra pudge below his belly button and cover it with kisses, or hickies, or both. But, in the last little while, Blaine hasn’t seemed to enjoy it as much as he hurried Kurt on to something else, somewhere else. So, Kurt guesses he sort of instinctively stopped doing it as much and he didn’t really think that much about. Blaine had been urging him in a different direction and Kurt was willing to please. Kurt figured Blaine was getting bored of the routine – especially since, until a little while ago, blowjobs were most of what Blaine got – so he tried to mix it up, focusing less on blowjobs and more on what some people might consider the _main event_. When he thinks about it, when he’d given Blaine a blowjob in the locker room, he didn’t even pay much attention to Blaine’s tummy. He didn’t even think about it – that’s how used to it he must be. How did that happen? He should have known. It’s so obvious now. 

Kurt never imagined that with Blaine’s gorgeous body he would be insecure. Sure, anyone could be insecure. Kurt just forgot that Blaine might not see himself as Kurt sees him. He figured Blaine would look at himself in the mirror and see all the breathtaking things he has. It was naïve and simplistic of Kurt to think that – he sees that now – and it’s his job as a good boyfriend, a good friend, and a good person to try to explain to Blaine that there is nothing wrong with him and hope that Blaine believes it. Ultimately, it’s up to Blaine to see himself as beautiful, but Kurt isn’t going to leave him without reassurances and comfort as he gets there. 

“You know your body is your instrument,” Kurt explains when he and Blaine have sat down on the couch together back in the safe sanctuary of the loft. They aren’t cuddling even though Kurt’s body seems to scream to. Kurt needs to make sure that Blaine hears him loud and clear.

“Are you saying my instrument is out of tune?” Blaine suggests.

“No! I’m saying…” Kurt pauses to find his words. He knows that this needs to be phrased well to get his point across. “Okay, so there’s the electric violin, the acoustic violin, the viola, the cello, and the double bass. They are all different sizes _and_ all make beautiful music.”

“Yeah, but a viola can’t let itself go and become a cello,” Blaine reasons back.

“Okay, yeah, well…it’s a metaphor. Go with it. What I’m trying to say is that people don’t have to look one way to be beautiful. Besides, wasn’t it a little while ago that you had a secret admirer? I’m not the only one who thinks you’re beautiful.”

“That was _months_ ago. I wasn’t as fat then. NYADA students weren’t gossiping about my weight then.”

“Sweetheart, you haven’t gained that much weight. You don’t look all that much different. You still have the same small waist, the same broad shoulders, and the same handsome face. Any weight you’ve gained has only made your tummy a little softer and your ass that much more to enjoy.”

Blaine chuckles shortly. He’s not convinced yet, but almost.

“Plus,” Kurt continues, “I assume I’m the only one at NYADA who has actually seen and _studied_ every inch of your body, which makes me kind of an aficionado, and I think you look perfect.”

“Thank you, baby,” Blaine says, a little sniffly, but blushing and ducking his head, which is progress.

“Blaine,” Kurt begins carefully, lifting his hand to place it against the side of Blaine’s face and stroking his thumb against Blaine’s cheekbone. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were worried about this?” 

“It feels stupid to come to you and complain about my body when…” Blaine trails off, collecting his words carefully. ”It felt bad to be getting fatter; it feels worse to be made fun of for it; but it feels the worst to be pitying myself when I just have this one little hiccup. It feels like I’m throwing myself a pity party when I don’t deserve it.”

“Oh…Oh, _Blaine_ ,” Kurt gasps, “I’m sorry I made you think that. This isn’t a competition of who has it harder. No one wins those. You’re allowed to be insecure without having to also feel bad for being upset about being upset.”

“But-“ Blaine tries to argue, but Kurt just slides his hand from the side of Blaine’s face…to right over his mouth. 

“I promise you, Blaine, that I have no problem with you telling me about your self-consciousness about your body. I might have forgotten to consider it on my own, but I'll try to do better and I promise I _want_ to hear about it." 

“Okay,” Blaine hesitantly agrees. Kurt figures that it will have to do for now. He will have to keep working to make sure Blaine knows he can talk about these things.

“But, if you still want to lose weight because it will make you feel more comfortable, we could start working out together? I’ve always wanted to have a tougher work out, but I’ve never been really sure where to start or what to do. Maybe, you could show me? Be my very own personal trainer? I could play the role of _cheerleader_. I mean I’m pretty sure I even still have the uniform,” Kurt hints flirtatiously.

“That sounds perfect,” Blaine agrees happily, giving a shyer version of his usual grin, but it’s still stunning.

Kurt doesn’t know how anyone can think that this man isn’t absolutely amazing or that he can be defined or valued based on his weight.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I divided facets of this episode in two, so stay tuned for other elements in the next part. ;)


End file.
